


Hermitcamp

by Fintastica



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Hermitcraft RPF, Legacy SMP, Minecraft EVO, mcyt
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Might add cameos from random characters later, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Summer Camp, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:33:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 10,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27812332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fintastica/pseuds/Fintastica
Summary: Human AU where TFC thought it was a good idea to bring some kids from his neighborhood to the camp he helps at during summer.This should be interesting.
Relationships: and friendships - Relationship, don't ship real people - Relationship, only platonic ships
Comments: 105
Kudos: 154





	1. Information I should really post at the begining

**Author's Note:**

> I do not ship real people and I do not own the characters. This is solely for me to expand my writing and for others to enjoy. No offense is meant to the Hermits and I am not using their IRL selves, just their MC characters.
> 
> Didn't see one of these yet so here's my take on it, I might add other people later but i don't really know much about the folks in other SMPs and stuff.....otherwise I'd have written an Olympics fic. Oh well. There's the idea, go run wild with it fandom :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh look the worldbuilding AU info

A quick note about world info...... 

Anyways, in short, here's a quick list of what translates to what:

**Schools** :

Arkus Elementary One of Grian's three elementary schools, he didn't stay here long ("the vibe wasn't that great"). 

Yandere Elementary (also called Akademi but no one calls it that):One of Grian's elementary schools; J. Star and Grian both went here before going to Arkus.

Crafted Movie Elementary: Where Grian spent the rest of his elementary years. Got intersted in theatre here and some of his classmates and him still hang out at the WynnMCA.

Evolution Middle School (The Evolutionists went here)- A school where, during the renovation period, seleected a group of staffers they called "Watchers" to leave clues about new areas for the students, who had to pass the riddles and challenges to get access to the new facilities. 

Watcher Academy: Grian's current school, a bit furthur away from the town of Wllbyug where the Hermits live. He and some of his other friends go here (Taurtis, Dom, etc.). Pearl used to go here but decided to transfer.

Legacy High School: The Legacy SMP in short.

Dream High School: A sporty school, the Dream SMP basically but slightly calmer.

Lovely World Academy: Stampy, Sqaishey, Polly, William, Amy Lee, etc.

SciCraft Academy: The smart peoples' school. Doc and Mumbo do go here but are usually found with the Hermits at the end of the day.

Wllbyug High School: Where eveyrone else goes, more or less. 

Some, like Etho, Impulse, Skizzle, and Zedaph are homeschooled. Tango is very close to being homeschooled himself, but he's still at WHS for now.

**Groups**

WynnMCA: The largest community center in the state.Grian's family (and some others from Crafted Movie Elementary) founded it.

The Hermits: A group of aroud 20 kids who live in the town of Wllbyug. TFC has kindly "donated" his home (a small farm just outside town) for them to go wild on. Biffa , Jessassin, and Python are members but live a little far to be there very often, while Xb is a maniac and either rides his bike, his horse, or just plain walks. 

MCC: A statewide competition of skill, sportsmanship, and knowledge. 

**Other Stuff**

Gum = rockets

Legos = building 

STEM = redstone

I'l probably update this as things progress and maybe stick it onto the front of the fic when i post the next chapter or something.


	2. The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round...

"We're going off to camp, in TFC's van. Zooming through the streets, all the Hermits-"

TFC lightly chuckled as he heard a number of the more vocally excited kids piled in his van sing parodies of the Little Einstein theme song without any care of just how ridiculous they might sound. Which was saying something for a grou pof teenagers in the middle of highschool. They were a fun bunch, though. Mildly responsible on most occasions, got the job done (most of the time), and had a good time doing it. And they always brought something new and out-of-the-box to whatever they got involved in.

That was the main reason why he'd given in and decided to bring the whole lot along to Camp Cavedom, where his old friend Mark ran a place for youth to have a week or two of fun during summer. The Hermits could use the break, they did so many things during the year it was a wonder they still had so much energy after just getting out of school for the summer.

"How far more?" Mumbo's face appeared over the top of the seat. The poor lad looked ready to jump out the window, having been the brunt of most of Grian's chattering for the last 2 or 3 hours. They might be good friends but Grian having little to do for so long? Not a good thing. He'd already threatened to take Mumbo's mustache away twice in the last hour and even if it wasn't very big Mumbo was proud of his mustache. Though most people were certain it was a fake but no one was going to say that to his face.

"We're actually here." TFC chuckled, steering the large bus into a parking lot where several cars and buses were parked. "Hey everyone, we're here!" He yelled back to the rest of the kids.

A cheer went up from most of the group. The Void twins, Mumbo, and Joe looked very much relieved and instead made a beeline for the doors the moment the bus stopped.

TFC let them all out before getting out himself. "Grab you stuff, it's all where you packed it in at the back!" He called out. Xisuma, the nominated leader of the group by default, quickly got to getting out all the bags with help from Jevin and Stress.

"So, 21 kids right?" TFC turned to see Mark standing nearby, smiling and holding a clipboard.

"23, actually. Wels got the green light to come and X brought his brother along." TFC corrected., gesturing at Wels (who was quietly sitting against his large duffel off to the side with Beef) and EX, who was grumbling loudly about having to share half his stuff with his twin. TFC lowered his voice. "Don't worry about EX, he's nearly always in a bad mood. I sent you the lists of who wants to bunk with whom, right?"

"Yes you did. Let me see...Grian Xelqua, Mumbo Jumbo, Iskall Eifive, Ren Dog, Scar Goodtimes, and Etho Slab in one; Xisuma and I suppose EX Void, Keralis One, Bdouble Ohundred, Doc Seventyseven in another: Hypno Tized, Xb Crafted, Jevin Nation, and Vintage Beef in a third; Joe Hills, Cub Fan, and Wels Knight as group four for the boys; False Symmestry, Cleo Zombie, and Stress Monster together; and Tango Tek, Impulse Esvee, and Zedaph Plays also together?" Mark ran off the list to TFC.

"Sounds about right." TFC agreed. "Although I wouldn't put that first group of 6 into the cabins furthest away, Grian and Etho are big pranksters and usually manage to drag their friends into their fun. They mean well of course but..."

"We don't need them starting a prank war with our old-timer pranking squad." Mark agreed. "It's extremely hard to remove shampoo stains from walls surprisingly."

The two men laughed together, turning to see what the kids were up to. The majority of belongings had found their owners by now, thankfully. Doc and Bdubs were butting heads over who stole whose spare pillow (Keralis was laughing in the background having stolen both of them), Xisuma was being a bit less helpful then usual and only helping to fuel the fire, and Jevin and Iskall were playing with slime. The ZIT team had their heads suspiciously close together and Grian was bouncing up and down while talking a mile a minute.

"Ok, kids, gather up and we'll head into camp so you guys can settle in." TFC called out over the sea of Hermits. "We're one of the first to arrive but dinner's in a few hours and it's quite the busy evening ahead so you'll want to unpack now and have fun later."

"Dinner? As in, food? Are there hot dogs?" EX asked loudly. "'Cuz Xisuma's being man and won't let me have his gummies."

Xisuma groaned. "I am not letting you go on another sugar rush. Besides, the ZIT team and Grian collectively ate most of mine already."

"You have a whole bag left!"

"It's my last bag and it's gotta last the whole camp!"

"Alright, enough fighting you two. Yes, hot dogs are on the menu EX and you can get more gummies if you want at the camp store Xisuma." Both boys seemed to accept that cheerfully enough. "Now come along, we've got places to be and things to see."

A cheer went up as TFC and Mark led the Hermits into Camp Cavedom. And thus began some very interesting events....


	3. Keralis, please do not steal Doc and Bdubs' pillows-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keralis should not steal pillows, Doc and Bdubs need to stop bashing heads, and X is scarily ready for cleanup duty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I threw in random characters. Don't @ me, I know they aren't that close in actuality it's a fic and I'm using their characters not the IRL ones and it's an AU so it's fine.

The moment Scott stepped into his cabin, he started seriously rethinking his decision to routinely switch cabins.

On the bright side, he got a top bunk and a nice bunkmate. On the not-so-bright side, he was stuck with two sets of people who seemed to argue nonstop.

Xisuma was nice enough, even if it was weird that he was wearing a helmet with some kind of filtration system. His twin brother, who Xisuma introduced as EX ("He doesn't like his birth name and the nickname he got when we were kids stuck." -Xisuma), was the exact opposite of Xisuma. The brothers might've looked similar (except for Xisuma's helmet being green and purple compared to EX's red and black) but they made it clear that they were not the other twin. And no, no one was allowed near their candy pile.

Bdouble, or Bdubs as he was nicknamed, was pretty chill in Scott's opinion. Although he spent a lot of time arguing with Doc Seventyseven, a tall boy with an artificial arm and apparently a fake eye that Scott only found about because Doc took it out during an argument with Bdubs over Keralis stealing their pillows.

It didn't help to ease Scott's nerves much when a boy with a definitely-fake mustache attached to his face came knocking and asked if they had an air freshener and Xisuma pulled out an entire bottle of Fabreeze like this had happened before.

Scott was more then relieved when dinnertime finally came. Luckily for him his cabinmatess seemed to already have friends and soon split off to go sit with them-after asking if he wanted to join them.

Scott said no (as politely as possible) and quickly hurried through the crowds until he found his own friends. Slipping into a place at the end of the table, he managed a grin. "Hey guys."

"Hi Scott." Pearl smiled at him. "So how's your cabin this year?"

It was a bit of a running joke that Scott, as organized as he could be, would be the one to end up with whatever new campers came to camp. And usually, Scott didn't mind and

"Okay, I guess. I got put with a set of twins, two guys who keep fighting over who overstepped whose boundaries, and a pretty nice bunkmate who really likes bees and is convinced he can hypnotize me with his eyes alone." Scott shrugged. "How about the rest of you?"

"Three pretty nice girls who were very confused when Mrs. Larson came by and told them that swords, real or fake, weren't allowed and neither were oversized posters of The Walking Dead. And can you believe it, one of the girls literally brought a whole container of herbs and first-aid stuff!" Netty told him.

"It's much better then what George, Dream, and Sap have to deal with though. Tell them, guys." Salem giggled.

Dream, still wearing his hoodie over his face, shook his head at her while Sap pretended not to hear her. George, however, was a bit more willing to talk then his friend were. "Three guys who call themselves the ZIT team. They're insane and on a constant sugar high. I think they share a braincell between all three of them or something. Sap's really mad because he has to sleep underneath this one guy named Zedaph and all his sheep-themed stuff."

"Shut up, George." Sap muttered.

"At least Zloy and I got people we kind of know." Pixel said from his end of the table. "Four guys from school. They came with TFC and a bunch of their neighborhood friends."

"I bet that the rest of you guys got paired with those friends." Zloy laughed. "Xb mentioned they split up and were around our age."

"Ooh, this'll be interesting then-Hey wait a moment, isn't that Grian Xelqua? When did he get rid of that old Link hoodie?" Salem suddenly asked, leaning so she could see the table of newcomers better.  
"What?" Pearl asked, trying to see for herself.  
"Who? Grian? No way." Netty shook her head.  
"No, look, it really is Grian! He finally showed up, took him long enough!" Salem pointed. "We should totally go say hi later, then we can punch him for disappearing on us!"

The girls kept chattering, ignoring the boys at the table giving them confused looks. Scott thought about asking them what that was all about but then the camp director stood up to talk and right afterwards, the food was served. And after that was the campfire singalong and by that time Scott had almost forgotten about the slightly-more-then-confusing new campers and how many of his friends seemed to know them or were sharing a cabin with them.


	4. Chaos Rises....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoever is next to the cabin of the Jungle gang (and Ren, who kind of counts) is in for an interesting time.

Grian was having an amazing time and it was only the first day of camp. Well, the start of the first full day anyways.

The previous day, he and his friends had run off to find their cabin ahead of the pack. It wasn't too hard, luckily, and they had a nice view of the woods nearby. They had played rock-paper-scissors for the bunks, which ended in Mumbo, Ren, and Etho losing and getting bottom bunks and Iskall, Scar, and Grian wining and claiming the bunks above their friends.

Iskall had almost immediately rolled off his bunk onto Mumbo, who was arranging his things and was not pleased to have his friend falling onto him.

Then Grian and Etho got bored and started poking through the various items Grian brought and set off a bottle of perfume that Grian had accidently brough. Mumbo had to run to Xisuma's cabin to get the Febreeze. In their defense, they explained they didn't know that Grian had grabbed his sister's perfume instead of his deodrant and neither knew the thing had opened up during the trip to camp.

TFC only looked amused when the six of them fessed up...mostly because Grian gave a very convincing explaination.

At dinner, Grian was ecstatic to find several people he already knew and his excitement only grew when he found out a number of his friends shared cabins with them. In fact, the moment dinner let out Grian went bounding up to a group of his old friends from middle school.

"Netty, Pearl, Salem!" He practically screeched. "It's been forever!"

"Grian!" Netty grabbed him for a hug. "You came! Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't know you guys still came!"

"Oh my gosh, the Evo gang's going to be thrilled! Most of the others aren't goign to be here for at least a few days, I knew it was a good idea to come early!" Salem laughed. "So, how's Hermitcraft High treating you?"

"Better then Yandere Elementary for sure." Grian laughed.

Another teen behind the girls coughed awkwardly. "Um, are you going to introduce us or...?" he asked. Pearl just giggled and lightly shoved him.

"Yeah, it's rude to just run off without warning Grian." Grian turned to see Iskall, Mumbo, and a bit of a ways away Xisuma and Ren, all standing behind him.

He turned a deep shade of red. "O-oh, right..." He chuckled awkwardly. "Uh...Pearl, Netty, Salem, and whoever the rest of you are, these are some of my friends. Iskallll and Mumbo." Iskall and Mumbo cheerfully waved.

"And these are our friends, Scott, Dream, George, Sap, and I think everyone else left to the campfire." Netty introduced.

"Nice to meet you." Grian grinned, before pausing. "Wait. Campfire?"

"Uh, duh. We're at camp." Netty laughed.

Grian's eyes opened wide with excitement. Mumbo quickly stepped in. "Oh no. We are not doing that again. Don't even think about it."

"But-"

"It hasn't even been 24 hours, Gri."

Grian frowned. "Ok, fine. No stuffing my face with marshmallows until I almost choke. For tonight."

"He still does that? Pearl laughed. "Oh gosh, Dream, you've got competition!"

"Bet I can fit more in my mouth then you can, wanna go for it tomorow?" Dream asked.

"I don't have anything on my schedule...totall-"

"Don't encourage him!" Mumbo yelped. "Ok, that's it, c'mon Gri we're sitting right next to Xisuma and Joe tonight!" He all but dragged Grian off, leaving the other boy only just enough time to wave at his friends.

Iskall just followed, laughing. "You do remember that Joe's best friend is Cleo and Xisuma is a derp half the time right?"

Mumbo only moaned something about needing new friends.

At the campfire, it was pretty clear everyone else was giving the Hermits odd looks. Most of them sat together, though a few ventured a bit aways. Xb and Wels sat with Zloy XP and Pixel Riffs, two boys who most of the Hermits knew from the local public school. Cleo spent quite a bit of time having a staring contest ("of doom! What, it's true!" -Iskall) while other people were coming into the area. The ZIT team were sitting a bit to the left of the main Hermit gang, with another friend of theirs.

True to his word, Mumbo dragged Grian into the dead center of the Hermit crew and Grian soon found himself sitting between Joe and Mumbo, with Xisuma and EX behind him and Scar, Cub, and Doc in front. Not that it did much to stop Grian's eating habits-he almost immediately accepted a bag of Oreos that Doc was handing out and by the time the whole thing was over, Grian had gone through most of Xisuma's new bag of gummies while the other boy was busy trying to pay attention to whatever the director was saying.

And after that Grian and his friends had been up until midnight messing around. Quietly, so they wouldn't get in trouble for not paying attention to the 10 o'clock light-out rule of course.

So of course today was going to be exciting. After all, they were officially having camp activities that weren't boring instructions and rules and things.

So Grian started the morning by jumping off hiss bunk, nearly landing on a groggy Etho and bumping into Mumbo (who was busy arguing that a suit was perfectly normal to wear at a camp in the summertime), speed-running through his morning routine, and tagging along with Ren to go bang on Xisuma's cabin door to ask him where the schedules were.

Or that's what the duo tried to do.

The door was opened by one of Xisuma's cabinmates, a guy Grian vaguely recognized as Scott Smajor. He took one look at Grian and Ren before calling into the cabin for Xisuma, who was already up and defending his leftover gummies from the night before from EX. While Grian went about getting the schedules from Xisuma (TFC had decided it was better if Xisuma, who was slightly responsible and much better with things like passing out stuff to everyone), Ren spent some time chatting with Doc and got an earful of a rant about how Bdubs kept moving onto Doc's half of the bunkbed's storage space before Xisuma shooed them out.

Grian and Ren, laughing, raced back to their cabin and crashed through the door right into poor Etho, who fell over with a yelp. Grian immediately bent to help him back up, apologizing, and got slammed by the heavy wooden door closing. Iskall started laughing, leaning on Mumbo for support, while Ren (who hadn't been in range of the door) was trying to pull both Grian and Etho up and failing miserably. And Scar, who had snuck in one Jellie cat, was too busy figuring out where he could leave his precious pet safely while he was away doing camp activities to really do much.

It was no wonder they ran in to breakfast 10 minutes late, looking like a mess and making TFC start to wonder if he should've been the ones to assign the cabins.


	5. Exploding Gum is....deadly? Who knows?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tango, don't commit murder. Etho, do not bring your glass to camp. 
> 
> In other words, the author lost progress on this fic 5 times in a row and ended up with this boring thing.

George was not expecting to see a guy with white hair and a black mask jump in through a back window of the ZIT/Dreamteam cabin, leave a couple of suspiciously large pieces of raw glass on the nearest bunk bed (Tango's, notice George watching from his bunk where he was frozen, start cackling, and leave again through the back window.

He also wasn't expecting Tango to run in, see the glass on his bed, then run out again screaming murder on Etho. Who was probably the masked guy, now that George thought about it.

Impulse only laughed when George asked him about it and Zedaph just shrugged and grinned.

Dream and Sap were just as clueless aas George. Though when the trio went back to their cabin so George could get his glasses and Dream could get a thinner hoodie, they all became concerned when they found glass on their own beds.

But the had to put any thoughts of why (and how) someone was able to get their hands on such large pieces of glass, because it was time for the first activity of the day. Which happened to be rock climbing. With harnesses and partners on a practice wal, of course. The real stuff would come later once the counselors were sure no one was going to die.

Of course due to Tango being absent (Impulse told the counselors in charge of their session that Tango just needed to go take care of business), it meant the cabins were uneven. At least until a certain cabin showed up missing their 6th member and George overheard one of them, who was dressed like he came from a ranch or something, tell the counselors that, "our 6th guy, Etho, is currently trying to prevent a murder".

'Whose?" Nathan, the counselor in charge of the wall that day asked.

"His own. He'll be fine, probably will turn up in like ten or fifteen minutes or something."

Nathan sighed. "He'd better be..." He eyed Impulse, who was failing to hide a smirk. Zedaph was even worse, leaning on Impulse while giggling. Two of the campers from the rach guy's cabin had joined them and were in similar states. George recognized one as Grian Xelqua, the Evo Girls trio's friend, but didn't quite recognize the green-shirted boy with the...diamond eye?

Yeah, he didn't want to know.

Luckily for him he got paired with the cowboy, whose name turned out to be Scar Goodtimes. Scar was probably the calmest of his group, though he did tend to ramble about how awesome his cat, Jellie, was. George still prefered it over the chaotic mess that was Grian or the guy's friends though.

Especially when Tango and Etho turned up, both looking exhausted but satisfied. Tango's vest was undone and flying loose, showing more of his button-down shirt underneath, and Etho's mask and headband were loose. They'd evidently made up but it didn't stop their friends from making snarky comments. Which made no sense to George whatsoever.

"It's Prank Battle 2: Electric Boogaloo!"

"Nah, it's more like Pranked Out! Y'know, since we had Decked Out and Stressed Out!"

"Is Shade-E-E's going back in business then?"

"Nah, Tango, you should just replace Etho's regular gum with bubble gum, that'll even out the score!"

"No thanks Impy I like my head on my shoulders and my fingers on my hands." Tango rolled his eyes while putting on the harness so he and Etho could get their turns on the wall. "Besides I didn't bring extra exploding gum."

"Do I want to know?" George quietly asked Scar as Tango and Impulse talked to each other while climbing up the wall that George had just gotten down from.

Scar, who was still buckling himself into his own harness for his turn, shruged. "We got through a lot of gum. Someone thought it was a good idea to combine those popping candies with gum. Is the rope tight? I don't want to fall..."

George nodded as Scar got ready to climb. As he watched his partner scale the wall, he decided it was probably best to just keep his mouth shut, nod, and hope he never had to taste any exploding gum.


	6. If Doc Can't Drive, Why Is He Good at Kayaking?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hermits + kayaks = fun and craziness.

"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream-"

"Oh no..."

"-Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is not Dream!-"

"Did someone call my name?"  
"No, they did not Dream."

"-Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream-"

"Why is Grian singing a nursery rhyme?"  
"Just Grian being a Grian probably."

"-plant your pickles on the floor, all around the sea!"

"That doesn't even make sense, G!"

Xisuma chuckled lightly as Grian and Mumbo got into a lighthearted argument over sea pickles. The second activity of the day for Xisuma's cabin was kayaking on the camp lake. Or at least learning how to, so the campers who weren't quite as used to kayaking could get in some practice before the afternoon laketime.

Xisuma glanced around at the other campers nearby. Most of the others had teamed up in groups of two, though there was a group of three or a single person here and there. To his right, Stress and Iskall had claimed a very bright purple and pink kayak (apparently one camp activity that happened during summer was a painting of the kayaks by one of the age divisions) and were getting ready to go into the water, with help from a counselor.

Just beyond them were Joe and Cleo, who had managed to figure out how to paddle a kayak. Unfortunately they had differing ideas on how this should be done and their kayak was now turning in a large circle like a very slow top as the two bickered.

Cub and Scar were in a heated race with Doc and Ren, both teams trying to get to the other end of the lake first while nearly crashing into everyone else still trying to figure out how to move around. One of the counselors was running along the banks, yelling for the foursome to slow down.

To Xisuma's left was Etho, who had opted for a single-person kayak. Xisuma had the feeling the ninja wannabe had used a kayak more then once before, since he was paddling circles around Bdubs, Beef, and Kerlis. Jevin was watching from the shore and laughing his head off, while Wels was watching and drawing a picture of the threesome.

Xb was having more fun watching the fish then he was paying attention to Hypno prodding at him to help him with their shared kayak, until he finally gave up and went to chat with two campers watching the chaos unfolding from under a nearby tree.

And of course, EX was glaring at the red kayak between him and Xisuma and raking up a fuss about how he didn't want to get wet.

"The water is wet. I'm dry. I don't need to go have to take a shower before lunch and miss out on the good food." he complained.

Xisuma sighed. "EX, this is a camp. You can't avoid the water forever."

"I can and I will." EX declared, before walking off to sit under a tree and...do whatever it was he did. Something involving gummy bears. Xisuma just shook his head and went to get himself a single-person kayak.

~~~---~~~

Lunchtime soon came and Xisuma found himself sitting with Keralis, Grian, Doc, and a number of random people he didn't know. But that was what happened when you were the last ones to the mess hall. You got the last seats available.

Oh well, he was with people he knew at least.

Keralis suddenly tapped his arm. "Hey Shaswhammy, should we stop them before they choke?"

Xisuma looked up from his lunch to see Grian and Doc, who had, for some reason, decided to have a competition and see who could eat the most egg sandwhiches. This wouldn't be a problem except those two could eat a scary amount of food when they wanted to. The fact Grian was only around 2/3 of Doc's size? Even worse. They'd even gotten the attention of the other campers at the nearby tables.

Xisuma cleared his throat. "Grian, Doc, you're scaring people."

"So?" Grian asked through a alrge mouthful of food. "Doc always scares people-"

"Hey, I heard that!" Doc also had half a sandwich in his mouth and another in his hand. Xisuma grimaced.

"Both of you, chew before you talk. You're not physically children and you have manners. Besides, you've each eaten more then 5 sandwiches already."

The two boys obliged, only because X was giving them "that look".

"Fine, you win Zisuma..." Doc crammed the other sandwich in his hand into his mouth before gulping down some water.

Grian left the remaining sandwiches on his plate and shrugged. "Sure, whatever you say X-I-Suma."

"That was epic though." The short blonde with the red and white shirt sitting next to Doc commented.

"Yeah and they do it every few days without fail." Xisuma told him.

"It's been a week since the last one though!" Grian protested.

"Because you nearly choked on a carrot." Xisuma told him, before turning to the others at the table. "Anyways, moving on from concerning eating habits, I believe some introductions are in place, since I don't believe I've met most of you. I'm Xisuma. This is Keralis, and those two are Grian and Doc. Though I think some of you know Grian already...?"

"We sure do. Name's Martyn, by the way." One of the other campers grinned. "Went to EMS with Grian. Just like Netty over here." The girl sitting next to him waved.

"Well I have no idea who you guys are. I've only seen you and you from that statewide tournament I was in." The blond cut in, pointing at Grian and Martyn as he did so.

"Oh yeah, I remember you. Tommy Innit, right?" Grian asked. "Totally remember you coming on that bus with the rest of the guys from DHS."

"Hard not to forget." Martyn muttered. "Almost as crazy as how Grian decided to show up."

Xisuma held up his hand. "I don't even want to know, since Doc was driving them. Which reminds me, ou never told me how many lamp posts you knocked over on the way Doc..."

"What happens with the car stays with the car. That's my final word on it." Doc grunted.

Grian smirked. "Four. He knocked over four, got pulled over by the cops once, and somehow managed to lose Cub at one point." 

"Grian-"

"Ok, you two, don't start a third civil war now, it's only been a few months since the last one." Xisuma interrupted them while Keralis unhelpfully laughed in the background. 

"Third civil war? Grian, please tell me you didn't start more chaos." Netty asked her old friend, who simply winked as he stood up to go throw away his trash, leaving Xisuma, Doc, and Keralis to attempt to explain how Grian started wars from pranking a fast-asleep Mumbo and planting mushrooms in Scar's backyard.


	7. Cliffhanger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short version of what I originally intended to write. Always backup your docs, kids!

Stampy grinned as his and Sqaishey's kayak reached the shore. Jumping out, Stampyhighfived iBalistic as Sqaishey cheered victory with Polly and William.

"And Stampy Cat and Sqaishey Quack win the kayak race!" TFC announced as the rest of the kayak teams competing pulled up to the lakeshore, amidst cheers and condolences of varying degrees from various campers watching.

"Good race, man." Stampy turned to see a tall German boy grinning at him. "But the Goatfather's gonna be training and training hard for the next race."

Stampy sputtered as he walked away towards a white-haired boy with a mask. "Wha-?"

"Don't mind him, Doc's a little obsessed with something he calls 'GOAT'. Think it has something to do with getting rich enough to buy out Keralis, not that that's going to happen anytime soon." Doc's teammate, a boy with a red sweater, attempted to explained.

"Um...okay then?"

The boy just shrugged. "Don't worry about it. Doc and his GOAT stuff is a bit confusing to everyone, honestly. Oh, name's Grian the way." He extended a hand, which Stampy shook. "Guessing you're Stampy? Good race that was, by the way."

"Yeah, I'm Stampy. Thanks, you too."

"So, you're Netty's brother? She and Martyn mentioned you a few times. I hear you go to Lovely World Academy, that's pretty cool." Grian grinned.

"Oh, you know Netty? And, um, yes, I do. It's quite nice."

"Yeah, went to Evolution Middle School with her. At least until the teachers kicked me out for not following half the rules." the short gremlin laughed awkwardly, running a hand through his hair.

Stampy remembered Netty talking about EMS. Evo was different then other schools. Back during their renovation phase, the staff had given the students riddles and puzzles to figure out before they let them use whatever new facility had been newly constructed. Whoever made the riddles were called "watchers" and sometimes students became part of that exclusive group.

"Oh. Well, that's still very cool, in my opinion." Stampy shrugged.

Grian smiled. "Glad you think so. It was definitely fun. Way better then my elementary school for sure, even if the technology was really old. At least no killer bunnies were on the loose! Anyways, good meeting you, I should probably go find the rest of my friends before they walk off and have fun without me." He waved as he disappeared into the crowd of campers.

Stampy waved, before pausing. "Wait, killer bunnies? He- Grian, wait! What do you mean, 'killer bunnies'?!"


	8. The Ethoslab Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Etho should not be allowed near rocks, balloons, or trees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you can't remember the original ending so you make one up on the fly.

"No no no no no no no no no-!"

Wels watched with amusement as Keralis went running after a tennis ball that had gone right over the wide-eyed boy's head and into the bushes lining the court, Bdbus following close behind. Shaking his head, he went back to sketching what was supposed to be Doc and Etho playing chess but was looking more and more liike Mumbo and Grian building with Legos. How that had happened, he sure didn't know. Oh well, it was what it was.

He glanced to his right, where Scar was sitting at a nearby picnic table and painting. Jellis was sitting inside Scar's upside-down cowboy hat, which was resting next to a set of paints from the arts-and-crafts area. Wels was surprised no one had protested Jellie yet but then again, the Voids walked around with helmets on their heads and no one was questioning that too much either.

"Hey Wels," Cub's voice floated down. Looking up, Wels gave a smile as his fellow Hermit sat down beside him. "What're working on?"

"A poor attempt at Doc and Etho that turned into Mumbo and Grian. Even I don't know how that happened and I'm drawing it!" Wels laughed, showing him the half-finished drawing.

Cub joined him in laughter. "I'd say, I can somewhat understand you exchanging Doc for Mumbo but Grian instead of Etho? That's a little hard to believe, I've gotta admit."

"Yeah." Wels wiped the tears from his eyes. "Though one prankster for another, I suppose...So how's your day been so far?"

"Pretty good, you?"

"I'm having a fantastic day. No one's started any wars yet either so I can just relax and enjoy myself."

Cub smirked and slid a dollar out of his pocket. "Five that Grian unintentionally starts one by the end of our first week."

Wels chuckled and rummaged around in his pocket. "Ten that the prank is directed at Mumbo."

"12 dollars and 14 cents that Etho brings back the falling anvils and his first target is Grian." Scar leaned over from his picnic table to add to the pile.

'No fair, you probably already know Etho has his anvils with him." Cub rolled his eyes.

"Etho always has his anvils on standby. Where does he even get them anyways?" Scar wondered.

Right on cue, a cackle came from up in the tree and Wels looked up just in time to see the bottom of an inflated anvil balloon dropping towards him. He yelped and scrambled out of the way as the balloon, weighed down on the inside by a few small rocks, fell down gently into the grass nearby. Etho came following soon after, laughing his head off.

"Your...face..." He gasped, bending over to grab his little pranking device.

"One day you're going to hit someone in the head with those things." Cub scolded.

"I haven't yet and anyways they don't fall fast enough for that. I made sure of it myself, tested it several times."

Wels grimaced. "Yeah...I do not want to know the details of that, thank you very much. How long were you up there anyways?"

"Long enough to know you're betting on something. Anyways, I need to go drop an anvil on Grian now-" The wannabe ninja started to walk away.

Cub jumped up. "Oh no you don't, don't you dare-"

"I'm just messing with you, I'll wait a bit before I throw around more anvils...maybe."

The fact the when dinnertime comes around Etho hadn't been killed yet is amazing. 

Then again it's only day one of camp. And there's still two weeks left to go.


	9. The Cat Rules It All....wait who are we kidding of course she does

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jellie wormed her way into TFC's heart, then got comfortable and made herself at home as the unofficial mascot of the Hermits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When the only full-time camp you know about are the ones from books and a certain New York demigod camp so you go rogue.

"This land is my land, this land is your land..."

Scar sang along cheerfully, Grian and Bdubs on either side of him. The first day of camp was ending and everyone was at the campfire having a good time.

 _Feels like something out of a Percy Jackson book but without the magical fire._ Scar thought to himself as the song ended and the camp band started to leave the stage.

Wels and Xisuma rejoined the rest of the Hermits as the camp director, Mark, stood up to talk.

"Hey Cavers, is everyone having a great time?" He called out. A loud cheer answered him, poor Scar having to cover his ears from Bdubs' and Grian's astonishingly loud voices. "Good to hear, good to hear. So just a few quick announcements before we continue with the program. Tomorrow is, of course, Hiking Day so be prepared for that! We're taking Loggers' Trail so if anyone has any problems with long and steep hikes, come talk to one of us counselors. Lunch will be provided! Signups for the weekly Talent Show are also open, and I believe Counselor Agness is in charge of that so go talk to her if you want to join in. And, oh yeah, Counselor TFC has something to say so I'll just pass the mic to him for a minute." Mark passed over the mic to TFC, who took it and cleared his throat before speaking.

"Ahem. Yes, so I'd just like to remind everyone, especially certain people-" Certain Hermits wre looking a little nervous as TFC's gaze fell upon them, "-that large pieces of glasses, unsharpened edges or not, are not allowed. Neither are matches, any explosive devices, or multiple cartons of eggs. The cat is fine but that's only because she already made herself comfortable in my cabin and I don't ave the heart to kick her off when she looks that cute. That does not mean the rest of you may start bringing your pets to camp, however." TFC warned.

"Oh yeah! Jellie for the win!" Scar fistpumped and highfived Grian, who was only mildly disappointed he couldn't bring his own cats and hadn't even thought of sneaking them to camp.

TFC lightly chuckled. "Yes, yes, well anyways if anyone sees a white cat with grayish markings and a collar wandering around camp, that cat is allowed here so don't come running to me with a stray cat report." He handed the mic back to Mark before sitting down again.

"Thank you, TFC! Now, it's time for our nightly skit, which will be presented by Cabins 5 and 6!" Mark moved aside to give room for the campers as every applauded, some (like Ren) wolf-whistling while others (like Grian and Tango)) whooped. None of the hermits were in cabins 5 or 6 but Grian's friends from EMS were in cabin 5, as was the ZIT team's friend Skizzle Man. False's friend, Kara, was in Cabin 5 and both Ren and Grian also knew Kara's cabinmate, Shubble. 

(To say Grian got around was a serious understatement. Scar was pretty sure Grian knew at least one person in every other cabin here. )

Scar simply settled back to enjoy the skit, which was some odd mix between "How to Train Your Dragon" and "Harry Potter", soaking up the good vibes coming from a good time.


	10. Grian, Get Out of the Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That is not a pesky bird, Grian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My braincells ran off to my other fic and abandoned the other 10+ fics i have to work on.

"Get back here BdoubleO, that's _my_ jacket you're wearing!" Doc yelled.

It was 6:30am and neither boy seemed to care much that they were probably interupting the sleep of most people. Then again, Doc wasn't the best with sleep schedules and Bdubs woke with the sun so it wasn't much of a surprise.

"I told you this is my jacket! You're wearing yourr jacket!" Bdubs yelled back, still running.

"Then stop and prove it!"

TFC poked his head outside one of the counselor cabins, saw Bdubs and Doc chasing each other, yelled at the two to "don't go into the woods and be back by breakfast", and went back to sleep for another half hour. Those two would sort things out eventually, at the end of the day they were good friends and he doubted they'd do anything too dumb.

Probably, anyways.

~~~

It was breakfast time and things were....surprisingly loud. Especially from one group in particular....

"Musshrooms are way better!"

"Grass is nicer to sit on though!"

"I agree with Grian, mushrooms rule!"

"Jevin, you took my mushroom you have no say in this!"

"It's all about the principle!"

"I'm not the resistance leader!"

"Why is Stress not in the Resistance, her house is modeled after a Smurf house!"

"Do I want to know?" Scott asked Pearl.

Pearl shook her head. "You really don't."

~~~

"Mr. Void and Mr. Thousandone, where are you getting all these tea bags from?" Nathan was staring down at Xisuma Void and Biffa Thousandone, who were both sitting at a picnic table watching Doc and Bdubs (who were still fighting over who had taken whose stuff). "You do realize we can't exaclty bring cups of tea into the woods right?"

Biffa pulled out a thermos. "Problem solved, sir."

Xisuma sipped up the rest of his cup and brought out his own thermos. "Don't worry, we brought regular water too."

Nathan decided not to bother arguing with the duo and went to instead round up the rest of the campers for the hike. Xisuma and Biffa highfived each other as the counselor walked off, then drank some tea to celebrate their victory.

~~~

"xB, please try to stay with the group, not everyone is as good at walking long distances as you are! Cleo, please don't threaten Joe that you're going to push him off the cliff! Doc, we know you like goats a lot but please keep off those rocks. Grian- _Where's Grian???!!!?_ "

"I'm up here." Grian was in a tree with a bird on his shoulder. A wild bird.

"Grian Xelqua, get out of the tree _right now_ and please do _not_ get close to wild animals!"

~~~

"Is everyone enjoying lunch? Don't forget to thank the cooks when we get back!"

"Yep!" "Ok!" "Sure!"

"Good to hear- Beef, what is that on your clothes?"

Beef looked up. "Huh?"

Etho elbowed him. "He probably means thhe stuff that looks like blood."

Beef looked down. "Oh. That. Uh, good question, I don't remember. It's been a while. Probably not blood though." He went back to eating his sandwhich and talking with Etho and Hypno.

That was the moment Nathan decided that dealing with the Hermits was just too much to handle for the rest of the day. Someone else could handle them, as long as they weren't killing themselves he wasn't going to interfere.

At least that's what TFC did and he seemed to be fine.


	11. Pesky Anvils

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grian, Etho, you are going to give Nathan and TFC more white hairs then they'll ever need in their lifetimes.   
> ...
> 
> No Doc, no Iskall, do NOT encourage them!

It was well known that Grian was a social butterfly and a prankster. I mean, the kid just kept popping up everywhere.

It was also well known that Etho was just another word for "troll". Mojang Studios had featured him as a smal part of one of their films and he was already being bombarded with collage offers. 

Most people could handle either of the two. 

Very few could handle both of them in the same place when they got bored. Except maybe TFC but TFC had decided a long time ago that as long as the kids didn't die or start bleeding or broke the law, he was fine with it.

Which meant Camp Cavedom was left defenseless against the combined braincells of Etho Slab and Grian Xelqua.

~~~

It started small. Grian gave Mumbo a fake egg with a Mumbo face drawn on it. When the mustached youth opened it, he got sprayed in the face with water (not that he minded too much, it was hot during the hike). 

Etho quietly added ketchup to Beef's probably-not-bloodstained shirt. When Beef went to brush off the crumbs from his clothes, he got a handful of tomato sauce.

False didn't look where she was sitting and found herself on a whoopee cushion, with Grian laughing his head off next to her. Martyn and Stampy's friend William Beaver experienced similar fates. 

Stampy found glass in his pocket. When he went to show it to Nathan and ask what was happening, he found out that Scar, Bdubs, Pearl, and Netty had found simillar pieces of glass. (Etho got told off by TFC for that, especialy when the counselor found glass in his own pocket.)

And that was only the start.

The hike to the waterfall was mostly uneventful, if you count Tango thinking that a snake that slithered onto the path was a twig uneventful. Doc and Python may or may not have crept up behind him at one point later and hissed behind the poor Tek but that was debateable since when Tango finally figured out it was not a snake coming for him and just a prank, the two were off talking with Xisuma.

Grian and Etho, however, found that the waterfall's terrain was quite desireable for...well, you can only guess what went through their minds. And it didn't take long to recruit Doc and Iskall.

System Zee had a water balloon dripped down his back. Sqaishey Quack found slime in her shoe. Jevin's ball of slime disappeared and reappeared on an unsuspecting Zedaph's head. Ren's sunglasses were exchanged for Joe's glasses and no one even knew how the Four Prankateers pulled that one off, much less Ren and Joe who were wearing said eyewear.

On the way back, well, let's jsut say it wasn't exactly the most peaceful hike. Etho's roach pet was definitely a memorable moment for everyone but poor Keralis, that was for sure. And it was definitely going to get nuts when everyone got back to camp....

Then again, Etho really did like trolling. And Scar, Wels, and Cub did have that bet going on...


	12. A...unique...film

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe, please don't be confusing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't trying. Sorry.

At dinnertime,a good number of people who hadn't yet been pranked were keeping their distnce from Grian and Etho, who didn't seem to mind very much and instead focused on how best to dye TFC's beard rainbow without him noticing. One could only speculate where they were getting the dye (or paint, who knew) from.

Joe, Cub, and Wels had effectively taken over the spotlight during that night's programming. And honestly? Stampy, William, Squid, and the six girls from the adjacent cabin decided to just go with the flower once they were persuaded by Joe, saw Cub working at full force in the camp's main building on the computer, and heard Wels in a locked room sounding like he was practicing for America's Got Talent or something.

Or maybe the nine non-hermits just decided it was better to let the Hermits go feral rather then try to figure out what Joe was saying.

So at the campfire that night, the whole camp was treated to a full rap music video edited and shot by Cub, directed by Joe, acted by everyone else, and with a soundtrack Wels put together last-minute.

And of course, because it was Cub (the overachiever), Joe (the King of annoying people), and Wels (the wannabe knight whose greatest achievements included procrastiating on fixing a door by making a rap battle with himself), the short documentary about the day's hike and shenanigans was...something else. 

TFC heard many interesting talk from the campers as he listened to their chatter afterwards.

"My ears.....Joe....Why....I'm going to break your legs for this! Or at least double your debt!" -Cleo

"Ten puns in fifteen seconds. Impressive." -Grian

"He had to use that photo, didn't he." -Mumbo (His face had been the star of the thumbnail for Cub's video...and yes, Beef had provided the photo and Cub had uploaded it to the internet. Privately, of course. For now, until everyone signed permission forms.)

"That. Was. Amah-zing!" -Scar

"Meow." -Jellie

"Did I seriously just hear a cat sound like it put a footstop at the end of that meow?" -False

"...It was kind of interesting? Besides whatever the words were. Who wrote the voiceovers anyways, Stampy sounded so weird!" -Scott


	13. Gentlemens' Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tomato smoothie

"What do you mean, 'this is only the start'?!"

The ZIT team had elected to sit with the Dreamteam (plus Badboy Halo) for breakfast that morning and Dream was 99% sure they were doing it to avoid Grian Xelqua and Etho Slab. Which was nice and all but quite odd of them since they usually hung out with the Legacy crew or one of the other Hermitgangers. At the moment, Tango was the main reason why Sap looked like he was ready to run in terror or scream at someone.

"Grian pranking someone usually means he's going to stir up something. And if he's roped Etho into helping him prank so many people, that's double trouble. Iskall and Doc joining in? Something's up." Impulse shrugged.

"To be fair, I was going to join them but I didn't really have anything on me and I'm still stuck with chewing exploding gum until the end of the week." Tango said.

Zedaph shoved some more egg into his mouth. "Yoh shohyof veth yoff wuwwo yuv."

"What did he just say?" George looked confused.

"Don't talk with your mouth open, that's gross." Bad rolled his eyes, before taking a bite of muffin.

"He said Tango should've bet with bubble gum and not exploding gum." Impulse translated. Tango sighed and nodded in agreement.

"I'm not even going to ask how you understood that." Dream said, trying not to watch Zedaph stuffing his face. "Where does he put all that food anyways?'

"He eats for Impy, Skizz, and I." Tango laughed. Impulse grumbled a bit about the nickname, which Tango ignored in favor of enjoying his energy drink.

"So, if you're telling the truth and we're in for a long week what do we even do?" George asked.

"Easy. You go with the flow and prank them back. It's only fair, and it's more fun that way. Which reminds me...." Tango grinned the grin of a madman. "I need to go have a chat with Jevin. Be back later!" With that, Tango left the table, toast half in his mouth, to go find Jevin (who looked like he was plotting some kind of murder or something with Joe and Ren).

"That's reassuring." Dream muttered.

"Oh don't worry, they probably won't kill anyone." Impulse said cheerfullly.

The Dreamteam did not find that reassuring, either.

~~~

"Wait so are there rules or are there no rules when it comes to pranks? I'm confused." Pete threw up his hands as Grian laughed.

"There are no rules but there are gentlemen rules. I just told you that!"

"That makes zero sense! You can't have rules if there are no rules!"

"Unofficial and unspoken rules that we follow, how's that?"

"Better. Slightly. Why didn't you sa that in the first place?" Pete groaned.

"I kind of did? Anyways, you're in on the plan now so as long as we follow it to a T we'll be fine!" Grian grinned. "Right, so do you have the ketchup? Ok, let's go!"


	14. Take Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grian + trees = pesky bird

It had been a few days since the pranking had started. Understandibly, False was very confused to find that the mustard bottle was filled with banana smoothie and Zloy Xp may or may have declared revenge on the wrong person for the ketchup message on his cabin's door (Cleo was in firm denial she did anything and Impulse pretended not to know a thing about how to change a sign). However, that took a bit of a backseat to the camp talent show.

It was certainly something to see the signup sheet and even TFC was surprised to see the roster. So much so that he almost tripped over Jellie, who was sleeping on a bed that kept getting more and more fanciful as the days went by. The man was pretty sure cats didn't need their own personal grooming station but Jellie liked it well enough so that was that.

~~~

For anyone who hadn't known the Hermits before the camp, seeing Xisuma (who was supposedly one of the more levelheaded hermits), Mumbo (the resident spoon who regularly tripped over his own feet), and Keralis (the boy with the beatiful eyes) standing around a picnic table yelling "no" at high velocity at each other while Eth tapped out a rythm on a table was....an interesting sight, to say the least.

Wels singing sea shanties while he and Biffa hung out in a kayak? Much more normal. Relateable, even, for some.

Grian jumping off the top branches of a tree while wearing a parachute however?

"GRIAN XELQUA! Please, I repeat, plesae _do not_ do this stunt during the talent show-"

Nathan was cut off as Grian, having not heard him, jumped off again and swooped through the air for afew seconds before landing on the grass nearby.

"Oh hi Mr. N! Do you have a hang glider here by chance? TFC wouldn't let me bring mine along."

Nathan sputtered. "Grian, I think it would be best to stay away from aeriel stunts for the talent show..."

"But flying's my thing!"

"I agree, someone take Grian's parachute before he lands on top of someone!" Pearl called from where she was sitting in a nearby tree watching.

"You're suppoed to be on my side, Pearl!" Grian protested as Pearl and Netty, who'd joined her in the tree, started giggling.

Nathan massaged his forehead. He wasn't even old yet, were those really wrinkles he felt? "Grian..."

"Ok, ok, fine, I won't jump out of a tree and do a sumersault." Grian folded up the parachute.. "I should probably retun this to Cub....Ooh, maybe he has his hoverboard!"

"Hove- Grian, no!"

It was too late, Grian had run off and Nathan was left to hope TFC had confiscated Cub's hoverboard.

...Wait, how rich were these kids if they could afford hang gliders and hoverboards?


	15. Talent Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fly, Grian, Fly!

"Hello everyone, and welcome to one of many Camp Cavedom talent shows! I'm Stampy and as one of the oldest campers here, I'd like to welcome everyone who came, campers visitors, and families!" Stampy announced as a cheer came from the audience. 

"I'm assuming most people here know what this is all about and if you don't...well, I'm sure one of the counselors will be happy to explain! Anyways, we have a big program and we do have prizes to give out so let's begin! First up we have Xisuma and Ximusa Void with a rendition of-"

Stampy flinched and quickly stammered out the name of a song no one heard over the sounds of what sounded like a large object rolling around and crashing into things before dashing offstage.

Ximusa, in his Doom cosplay outfit, came out with his guitar. "Sorry about that, everyone, just having a bit of technical difficulty back there. Nothing to worry about!"

EX, who had followed Xisuma out (wearing a red version of Xisuma's outfit-where did those two even find the stuff, much less bring it?), added on by growling into his microphone, "And the next person to call me Ximusa gets a guitar snapped over their head and a new guitar bill."

"Yes, well, anyways, we'll stop with the stalling now and actually play something." Xisuma quickly attempted to smooth over things and the twins started rocking.

Luckily EX managed to calm down a bit during the song (venting emotion through music is always quite helpful) and Stampy managed to avoid dying before he could announce the next group.

"Next we have Etho Slab, Mumbo Jumbo, and Keralis One singing "No", arranged by Ely Beatmaker."

Mumbo surprisingly didn't do a half-bad job of singing Xisuma's part, even though Tango commented that "Mumbo should still stick to engineering", with False quickly agreeing. This escalated into Beef protesting that it was Keralis' ability to also sing X's part and Etho's music skills carrying the trio while Iskall claimed that he gave Mumbo singing lessons and Grian protesting that he'd done the exact same thing.

Unfortunately, Grian lost the argument due to needing to go onstage for his turn with Martyn, Netty, Pearl, Salem, and Solidarity "Timmy" Gaming, who'd shown up to camp a bit later then everyone else, having tried to hitch a ride but mixed up who lived where and missed it altogether. The EMS alumni were putting on a short, overdramatized play that they called "The Watchers, The Listeners, and the Emperor", the highlights of which included Martyn and Timmy doing a fantastically terrible job at blaancing on each others' shoulders while dressed as a demonic monster, Pearl pelting Grian with "snowballs" after he declared her the new Empress and gave her a crown he said was made with pearls, and Netty hiding behind a curtain to make Grian "fly". Netty ended up losing her balanced and falling backwards onto poor Ren (who was helping with the extra curtains) and Grian really went flying so all in all that went well. For everyone but Grian, Netty, and Ren that is, since Grian ended up on the ground in front of Zedaph's slightly-horrified parents and Ren and Netty went off to the infirmary.

Wels, on the other hand, did much better and sang a very lively sea shanty that got the crowd moving. Though the act after him (Tommy Innit rapping) diminished the mood a bit.

Joe, of course, recited poetry. Which, after 5 minutes, was interrupted by a jug of milk falling on his head, causing the poet to run offstage to find the culprit (totally not Fundy and Iskalls' fault, nope, certianly not!)

And then there were acts by other campers, though they were more of the usual (aka they weren't former EMS students acting out an elaborated version of a middle school memory).

And to round it all off, the surprising duo of Techno and Cub parodied some popular tunes, partly to mess with their friends and partly because they thought it a great joke that two competitive people were "relaxing" for once.

Finally, after that final act, Stampy came back onstage. "Hello there again everyone! That's the last act so now the rest is left to our judges, senior counselors TFC, Nathan, and Agness. Resaults will, as usual, be posted on the camp website and on the camp bulletin board by dinnertime! Thanks for coming and have a wonderful lovely day!"

And then Stampy made a speedy exit to avoid EX, who was re-enraged by his guitar's string snapping for no good reason and was hunting down a target to vent his frustration on.


	16. Naruto Running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Etho being smart and the author not watching enough Manhunts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please give ideas i'm running dry beyond Etho and Tango antagonizing the Dreamers and Grian, Etho, Doc, and Iskall causing mischeif.

The Hermits had been at camp one week and already made quite the mark.

Or at least, Tango did. That mark wasn't going away for a long time, that was for sure.

It started because of a dare. Of course it started as a dare, why wouldn't it? 

Impulse and Zedaph were off playing a very heated game of Snap! with Sap and Sap's friend Badboy, so Tango was on his own for the time being, since he didn't feel like dealing with a bruised hand at the moment. He'd gone to the zipline instead, and that's when the trouble began.

Tango was waiting in line with Etho, Wels, and Biffa, watching as Grian and False got into the harnesses (for what was probably the 5th time that day) when someone tapped him on the shoulder. Turning, Tango saw Dream and George standing behind him.

"You're the guy who cosplays as Ironman right?" George asked.

Tango blinked. "Uh, yeah..?"

"Cool, cool. So-"

"George,, cut to the chase. Basically, how do you feel about dares?" Dream asked.

Tango was about to reply before Wels stepped in. "Oh no. We are not doing this again, Tango. Last time was crazy enough. Those bulls were just stupidlty, please say no-"

Tango ignored him. "Awesome. What do you want me to do?"

Wels groaned. "Tango, no-"

"Tango yes!" Grian called from where he was getting ready to take his turn.

"Grian and Tango no! I don't even know what it is and I think it's a horrible idea!" False yelled at them both.

"Ok, ok, fine....Hey Etho, you can take my place?"

"Sure."

"Etho no!" False moaned. 

Etho took no notice of her, since unlike Tango he wasn't worried about the Queen of Heart slicing off his head. "Right, so how 'bout this, I use Tango's stuff so it's still pretty much the same. I know how those things work so it'll work out fine."

"..That works, deal." 

"So, what'll it be?"

"Manhunt." Dream announced, grinning behind his mask. "A game called Manhunt."

"Awesome. Meet you on the other side for planning and general instructions on what I'm doing?"

"Sure thing."

Wels looked exasperated. "I give up, I take no responsibility if TFC chews you out for whatever this is."

"Sure thing, bud."

~~~

The next day, Grian, Ren, Wels, and Biffa joined the Dream Team's friends in watching the show. Tango, Impulse, e and Zedaph were hanging out on the roof of a nearby building, ready to make a lot of entertainingly unhelpful commentary via a microphone Ren had brought along.

Etho was dressed in Tango's latest IronTek suit. Because of course the blondd brought it to camp.

Having a rich dad was nice sometimes.

"Are you ready?" Impulse called.

"Yup."

"Great! Let the NarutoHunt begin!" Zedaph cheered.

"What?!" Dream and his friends were very confused.

Etho was already moving. "I'm cosplaying Kakashi cosplaying Ironman. Geddit? Bye!"

Grian had borrowed a ConCorp drone or two to follow everyone properly. And that went amazingly, as Grian did not turn off the two-way microphone system.

~~~

"...and the Dreamteam's catching up, but Ethoo's got the lead, and- Holy cow, when did Tango add a hoverboard system to the suit??" Zedaph yelped.

"Last update, when I was messing with the Phoenix." Tango simply said as Etho navigated some particularly thick foilage.

"Hey no fair, we have to havk our way through!" George complained as the Dreamteam just barely caught a glimpse of a flying Etho laughing at them.

~~~

"Uh, who put glass here?"

"And the Dream Team has found the glass Etho left just for yuks."

"Is it the one near the big oak with a tire swing? I left it there ages ago!"

"How-"

~~~

"Where even is that guy? White hair is like, the most obvious thing in a green and brown forest!"

"Should I tell them?" Etho was hanging out next to the ZIT team, looking very relaxed. Turns out he'd found out a shortcut or something.

Impulse snickered. "The Dream Team is completely lost, having passed by the same boulder three times in the last five minutes. Uh, can you guys get out?"

"We're still manhunting dude!"

"You might as well come back if you're gonna manhunt." Etho said boredly.

A pause. Then a lot of cussing and laughter.

"So, can you guys actually find your way back or do we need to send Etho in after you?" Grian finally managed after nearly busting his stomach laughing.

"..You do realize that they're like, 10 feet away right?" Etho asked.

The Dream Team went to dinner very salty that night.


End file.
